What will my legacy be? Great deeds and accomplishments? Fame throughout the world? No. My legacy will not be known in one hundred years, but it will be seen. What is my legacy? These, my children, are my legacy. Observe their character, their mature temperament, their faith. Observe their knowledge, their wisdom, their hearts for others. Observe their keen minds and their kind hearts. Observe their greatness, and its contrast with their humility. When I am gone from this earth, my greatest works-- my children-- will remain. These children are my life's work, my masterpiece. I did not change the world in my lifetime. In time, my children will pass my legacy to my grandchildren, and my grandchildren to their children. I did not change the world in my lifetime, but 200 years after I have died, I will have changed the world. I simply began the chain.
I think it is better for me to not have done great deeds-- I posit that it was not my place here. My ability is to mold, teach, and love. I will have no legacy of my own-- they will be my legacy.
I, Kevin, do not know where my life is headed, or what God has for me. Perhaps I will indeed do "great" things while I am sojourning here. Perhaps not. I may be President of the United States, or I may simply be a day-job working Deacon. I don't know the answers. I do know one thing, however: if, one day, I lie on my deathbed and can only claim what you read above, my life will have been enough. I will have lived as a Giant.
Kevin,
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree with your overall sentiment (that parenthood is a profound responsibility and a solemn privilege), I must confess that I have a somewhat different perspective (based on personal reflection on this subject over the last year or so). Let me explain.
I am now, actually, a parent (who would've thought?). I feel like there is nothing in the world more conducive to vague anxiety and a general feeling of unpreparedness than parenthood. As I have struggled with this scary burden of raising Godly offspring, I have been paying attention to Biblical examples of men of God and how they raised their children. You know what I've found as I've paid attention? God doesn't hold parents accountable for how their grown children turn out. When children are young their parents are responsible for keeping them in line (look at the qualifications for elders in Titus and Timothy), but after they're grown, children who go off the deep end are not any reflection on their parents. Examples of men of God who had sons who were terrible:
David
Jacob
Abraham
Samuel
Adam
Aaron
Hezekiah
Joash
Jehoshaphat
Solomon
Joshua
All of these are men of God who had sons who were recorded as being failures in one way or another. God never reprimands any of them. I find that very comforting; my daughter (and future children) is responsible for her own relationship with God; her soul is not in my hands. To have my self-worth tied to the moral choices of another autonomous human being (however much I love them) is to put myself in danger of shouldering a burden of failure more profound than any other I can imagine.
I am incredibly lucky to be married to you. I remember with fondness and warmth the conversations we had about our future children while we were engaged: how dedicated we would be to learning their expressions and personalities, how involved we would be in their maturity and growth, how intentional we would be in exposing them to service opportunities, love, and good, solid Christian teaching. The fact that we're now a step closer to beginning that work (since we've been married, I mean) is somewhat mind-boggling sometimes (but kinda exciting, too ;p).
ReplyDeleteBobbo, I understand what you're saying, and I appreciate your concern. I hope you don't, however, think that my self worth is tied to my future children entirely. My self worth is tied to knowing Christ, and what I believe is the biggest goal he has given my life: discipleship. Through much prayer and reflection, I've come to know that discipleship is the ministry that most suits my gifts, and it's the primary reason God made ME specifically: to make disciples. In that, I've come to the conclusion that there is no better way to make a disciple than to mold them and pray for them from the moment they enter this Earth, from a position of already established authority, trust, and credence . . . i.e. parenthood (plus I really like kids!).
ReplyDeleteAs far as the Men of God from the Bible that you mentioned are concerned, I gave this a great deal of thought, and I realized something else: a number of those men had 2, 3, 500 wives, and none of them (correct me if I'm wrong) are reprimanded explicitly by God for that heinous practice. This, actually, has always bothered me when reading those accounts before, because it almost felt like by not saying something about it, God was approving. But recently I realized that a lack of God's explicit rebuke for an evil or careless act in scripture does not imply a good act, or a permissible one. Surely, if every wrong deed needed to be mentioned in the Bible for it to be considered wrong . . . I think we'd miss the overall message of the book.
I do agree with your caution about such an attitude of responsibility, and that it can lead to crushing disappointment. But at the same time, I don't think it is right, either, to relieve ourselves of the responsibility to get people to heaven-- especially for those closest to us. I just have to think that, as Christians, this is part of our responsibility. God saves who he will, to some degree, but he also has us here to work for him. I know there are people I COULD have led to the Lord in the past, but I didn't because I did not put in the effort or mindset or prayer that I should have, and now my witness has passed out of their lives. I regret this, and consider it an opportunity to learn from my mistakes.
Also, just as not everyone is specifically called to disciple-making (some to worship, church admin, preaching, evangelization), I don't think everyone is called to be super-parent. That's not to say that everyone shouldn't attempt to be a good parent any more than I shouldn't ever attempt to evangelize because I'm not specifically gifted in that area. At the same time, some are gifted, I believe, to do awesome deeds, and others, to mold kids who do awesome deeds. Most people on this Earth will probably be a parent, but I don't think everyone will be a disciple-making parent. I look at John Adams, for instance, who was a great man, and a father. He did incredible things for this country, but as a father . . . I don't think he was so hot. That's not to say that he shouldn't have been a father-- on the contrary, I think most men are called to fatherhood, but that doesn't mean he was specifically gifted in that area (I don't think he was, clearly).
Anyway, I hope this makes my ideas more clear. I was going for more poetry and less treatise in this post, so it's not surprising that it left some strange notions to be found in it.
And thank you, darling, by the way. Really, though, I am the lucky one. :)